I didn’t want you
to only fuck me,
I wanted you to
love me.

But I didn’t know what to
convince you with
besides my body.

Hot Winds, Holy Thoughts | Lora Mathis

(via lovequotesrus)


This is basically what it’s like to be an adult.

(via my-darling-stars)

So still adjusting to the new meds for now. In the grand scheme of things, it has actually helped a lot. Gotten rid of really bad thoughts and actually quieted my mind and anxieties more than they’ve ever been in years. Which is a good thing for me. I’ve had a few side effects like slight dizziness on the first day and mild nausea with it since taking it. But it’s also been helping me sleep and I haven’t had any nightmares or night terrors yet. There has been one really weird side effect though that I’m not crazy about. The first night was the worst, and last night was still not great, but it was better. So I’m hoping today it won’t happen at all. Fingers crossed. I go back to see my doctor on Tuesday and we’ll talk about everything and see how it’s going then. I’d rather just stick with this one though or try something natural than try another med. My biggest fear was the risk of a seizure, and since this one is okay, I don’t wanna try something else. 

I have a random question for you guys. Well, actually two. The first being- have any of you ever taken an anti-depressant? Don’t worry, I will keep this private between us if you do respond. But I’m about to start my very first one ever (my therapist thought it was strange I’d never been on one before since I’m 22). And my second question is, if you ever have, were you scared to try it?

parkerfrederick asked: Did you finish there can only be one I can only find up to chapter 17

No! I actually only wrote the first 17 chapters. I don’t know how you guys came to find my story again, but since you have, I am going to start working on the next chapter. I don’t think I’ll make any promises of when it should come out, but I WILL start working on it again and do my best to get it out to you as soon as possible

Anonymous asked: Hi, I know/sincerely hope you're currently working on updating There Can Only Be One. It honestly is the best RT AU I've ever read, and I can't wait for part 18. Thank you so much for enriching my life with that amazing story <3 -Stella.

Oh my god. This is seriously one of the kindest messages I’ve ever gotten. I’m so very honored that you love it that much. And because of this, I will start working on chapter 18. I keep trying these one shots that I start but can’t finish. So I hope after re-reading my notes and chapters that I can give you something that still reaches your standards from what you’ve come to expect from me

Hey guys. GAIS.

I did it.

I asked cute guy at work to hangout.

And it worked.

He said it’d be cool.


We’re gonna hang out next Friday.

We shall see how that goes.

Cuz maybe someone else actually has his number now.

And is playing a cruel joke on me.

So I shall check on Sunday.

Or Monday.

Cuz I don’t see him till Wednesday.

So I’ll be able to see if his number changed.


If it’s the same still.


I have managed to make a hangout with someone I haven’t known since high school.

On my own.

Through text.


shadowrunner426 asked: Why are you being so nice to me? Did you actually like my story? It's definitely not up to par compared to yours.

Hey! I love people who care to talk to me. I’m no one special. I just work at a basically fast food place and write in my off time. Sure, I’ve written stories since I was little, and besides Tae Kwon Do, it’s the only thing I think I can do anywhere near okay, I love seeing and reading other peoples work.

As with mine, I always agree that there can be room for improvement (if you want my biggest editing on yours it’d just be to exclude Millie since Geoff doesn’t want her to be in fanfics), but that doesn’t mean I don’t like other people’s writing! I love to read other fanfics and I love making new friends.

I thought your story had an awesome start and I am looking forward to where you go with Gavin being king. I actually never thought of using him in that way, and I find it greatly interesting. I have my own limited view of characters (whether they’re my own or based off of the guys from Let’s Play), and I always enjoy seeing new takes on them from others. It helps to expand my own ideas, as well as seeing where someone else can take their own story. I never feel like you should be limited to what the Let’s Plays bring you in terms of fanfics. Obviously it’s a great place to start from. But since we write our own stories, we get to use their likeness in whatever way we see fit (again, so long as we respect these people’s real life boundaries), and I find it incredibly fascinating how someone can bring to life something I never thought of myself (again, you using Gavin to become King in the way you did).

So if you truly feel that way, just keep going! That’s what’s gotten me to where I am. I have hundreds of shitty copies of my own writing (not based off of Let’s Plays at all). I cringe when I re-read them (if I even give them that much light). What you come up with won’t always be up to your own standards, but you can’t get better unless you keep going and learning. And if you want someone to bounce ideas off of, I’m always here and willing to answer privately (I answer that way if it’s explicitly specified or I feel it warrants private answering).

I will always answer your messages because I care about those who read my own stories. Again, because I’m no one special.

It makes me feel extremely fantastic to hear you guys tell me you love my stories and how I write. Because I truly feel that they are no better than anyone else. So if you feel my writing is special, then I will honestly feel that YOU are special and YOU are the one who motivates ME to keep writing. And I will always find some way to motivate you in whatever creative outlet you feel best represents YOU. And again, as you can always grow, so can I. I have found through my martial arts journey that you can ALWAYS better yourself. The journey of learning will never end, and if it does, then you’ve done something wrong.

No one will ever be perfect in any regard.

And so long as you keep striving to be the best you can be, then support along the way is completely fine. It never has to mean that you’re perfect. It can be that encouraging pat on the back that keeps you going. But sometimes you do get it right and it can still keep you moving forward.

In our journeys of writing multiple chapter stories, sometimes we do get it right and just need that push to keep going. Even if your writing is great, if you don’t get that encouragement to keep going, you’ll give it up. And that’s a loss to the world.

So if you feel that this is your passion (even if it’s just one in your free time), then you should be allowed to have that passion grow and expand as far as you can while you’re on this earth. Maybe it won’t be your money making job, but it could be. Or at the very least, it could be something that brings you great joy in your free time (as mine does for me). But never let people on the internet (or even in your real life) bring you down if you have something you truly wish to pursue. Keep learning, keep being open to change, and one day, you will get there. And I definitely believe in you <3

I don’t like that you can’t congratulate people on their accomplishments if you saw them on facebook if you aren’t “friends” with them. Saw someone I really care about finally got a new job because I got curious about them today, but since it literally could’ve happened today (since we aren’t friends and I can’t see the date it was posted), I can’t say “Hey, congrats on the new job” since it might be hella creepy thanks to serendipity. Fuck you serendipity. I wanna be able to say congratulations to someone I care about because I’m genuinely happy for them, not cuz I’ve been creeping on their page.

(via mlchaeijones)

shadowrunner426 asked: So 1. I want to say that I almost died when you rebooted my post cause you're fucking awesome. 2. I have a fanfic done about King Gavin. Do I post it now or wait for king Gavin.

Oh my god you are too sweet! And that post is just so perfectly accurate about writing, there was no way I could NOT reblog it once I saw it XD

And you should totally post it now! It could be a long time before they release the Let’s Play, but since yours is done now, you should definitely let people read it :)

(via shadowrunner426)


when you reblog something risky and dont lose followers


Anonymous asked: Saw your post about fandumb and folks bitchin bout tags, just wonderin what it's in reference to. Also wanted to send you a smiley face cause i want you to be happy :)

I just saw a general reblog from someone about the RT Fanfic “Fandom Rules” thanks to that new-ish Tumblr “Recommended For You” post things that clog my dash now. And I’ve read it before awhile back, and it irritated me then, and it pissed me off now for some reason. Probably because it wasn’t from someone I actually follow (thanks Tumblr). So it wasn’t a direct comment from someone to me (but I’ve gotten those before in the past from people on anon, to which I respond in about the same way).

I just felt like getting it off my chest because I KNOW I can’t be the only person who writes fanfics (or even creates fan art) that gets shit for it, whether it’s directly or indirectly. Because it makes you question yourself and what you do.

So I want people to know that unless those people you are taking inspiration from are the ones saying these things, then you don’t need to listen to random assholes on the internet.

You’ve got a great and unique talent to create something wonderful. Don’t let those people drag you down.

Maybe reign it in a bit if the people you’re basing things off of have specifically asked for things to be excluded. But other than that, do what you wanna do. It’s art. You’re allowed to be free. And it’s the internet. You’re allowed to tag things how you want.

Dawww and thank you for the smiley face! I am smiling right now, and am also sending you a big hug because I also want you to be happy friend! ^_^

This is my own personal little thing about fanfics (which I’ll probably take down later) but I just re-read something on my dash (thanks Tumblr recommendations XP).

I don’t like fandoms in general.

I like individuals and what they can create. 

I like the original thing (for this specifically, I mean RoosterTeeth/Let’s Plays).

I don’t care about your “Fandom Rules”. I care about the individuals rules.

I will post my fanfics the way I want. If people don’t like it, don’t fucking look at it. Scroll on by bitch. The internet is a vast place, as is Tumblr.

You do not own the tags, you do not own me.

I post my fics respectfully with the “Read More” link. I trigger warning my shit. I put a description and vast fair warning so people don’t accidentally see shit they don’t wanna see.

I respect the rules these people actually have stated. No Millie. No bad things with Caiti and Jack. Etcetera fucking etcetera.

THESE are the rules I adhere to. THESE are the rules I respect and care about.

NOT your fucking made up “Fandom Rules”.

It’s the internet. Grow up. You will see things you don’t like. Just like in real life. You don’t get a censorship in real life. No one is going to hold your hand and cover your eyes just so YOU are more comfortable. Get the fuck over it.

Now if I ever overstep my bounds in regards to what these people AT ROOSTERTEETH have explicitly stated they don’t want, THEN I will more than happily change it or take it down. Because THEY are the people who I am writing about, and it’s THEIR life. If they are uncomfortable with it and want their wishes to be respected, I will do that because I look up to these people.

But not little shits on the internet whining because I posted MY CHARACTERS NAMES IN THE GOD DAMN TAG. Fuck off. Keep scrolling. Don’t let my ONE POST ruin your fucking day. I see shit I don’t like all the time on here. You know what I do? Fucking ignore it and get on with my life. I don’t get all butt hurt over it.

And thus, my rant is finished and I hope you all have a lovely day <3

My Psychoteeth story should be up around Friday or Saturday.